The Sandy Box

I have on numerous occasions been touched by the kindness of strangers. It doesn't happen often, which is probably what makes it all the more special, but when it does, it helps restore my faith in humanity, even if only temporarily. I seem to have the ability to touch complete strangers with some of my blogs, and the comments or messages I receive from them are so heartfelt and sincere that it warms me inside. The relief I feel when I realize that there are still decent people out there, people that care enough to take a minute out of their day to try to cheer someone, makes me believe everything's not lost. If you are one of these people, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. Never stop being that person that you are. You touch people, make their lives easier, happier, more full, whether you know it or not. The smallest thing you do, smiling at a stranger in passing on the street, can make a bigger difference than you know.

Peace & much love,

Sandy

I'm feeling sad today. I don't know what it is. I feel like there are very few people on my side, and although I know this not to be true, that doesn't mean it doesn't feel that way. I'm sure you know the feeling I'm talking about. Some friend will say some offhanded remark and you take it the wrong way. They don't mean to hurt your feelings and probably didn't even realize it at the time, but it happens all the same. Or someone you are close to doesn't care to hear what you have to say, doesn't have the time to talk about things you need or want to talk about, or even if they have the time and make it, you can tell that they are disinterested or would rather not be involved in the conversation. There are the people who have unrealistic expectations of you to add to your unrealistic expectations of yourself. There are the drunk people singing at the top of their lungs in the next room who will probably wake you up again tonight when they come home from the bar. There is the person you are missing who gets you, but is unavailable at the moment and it makes you lonely. The feeling that everything is wrong, despite the fact that you know you have so much to be happy about and it's only a passing bad mood, that you can't shake. It's the opposite feeling of "everything is right in the world." I would love to have that feeling right now. How long will it last this time?

So, this is something that I read on one of my random friend's Facebook and I really enjoyed it and thought I'd share it with you. Take from it what you will.
<3

"I don't think it's any mystery that I tend to over think and analyze every situation that occurs in my life... For those of you who know me closely anyway.

This time, I merely have an experience I would like to share.

Sitting at my computer, somewhat stoned and after a period of my meditation... I was asking the universe to give me something, anything with me aning. An answer to my questions that never stop, never give me rest. And then... It was not but a few seconds later, and this is the honest truth... I noticed a tiny spider no larger than a millimeter or two a few inches from my face. It had come right into the perfect spot to be seen between my eye and my monitor. There was no avoiding it. The universe had my complete attention.

Reaching up, I snapped the horizontal thread the spider was crawling across... and the spider dove downward releasing a web behind him as he tried to escape what must have been a confusing and terrifying sight. Playing "god" suddenly became my interest, I did not want it to escape this interaction, I wanted it to land on me, so I put my other hand below so it would have no choice. Gravity would serve my ends.

During this time I was contemplating what this interaction must be like in the spiders perspective... if it even understood it was being manipulated by another intelligent being... how massive my fingers would have appeared to its tiny eyes. Could it even conceive of something as powerful and massive as me? Most likely not. It would be simple to control such an "oblivious" creature...

To my surprise however the spider did not land on my hand. Instead, as it came close it stopped, twitched its front legs at me, and turned around... crawling back up its thread towards the finger that suspended it in the air.

Immediately what came to mind was the resistance I had put up in my own life to the universe around me. Me and the spider had something in common... we both refused to go the way we were being guided.

Patiently I waited for it to crawl up and up and up towards my waiting finger. I knew it had no choice but to crawl on me if it wished to navigate out of this situation. But to my amazement... as it reached the tip of my index finger, the tiny spider grabbed the piece of horizontal thread that was just out of the light, so I could not see it... and climbing away from me, slowly and away from the forces that had tried to hold it back... the spider "flew" away on an invisible rope.

Now... I don't really know why I shared this. Or what meaning it has to it.
But I was once told... The most revolutionary thing you can do is share.
More and more these days I wish honestly, that someone was here to share the moments I experience alone that amaze me.
Much love."

True that George Bernard! I had, like most, always assumed that life was in fact about finding yourself. I mean, that's what we are always told, or in the very least, led to believe. How depressing to think that who you are is already set out for you! The first time I read this quote it was like the gears inside me shifted a little and something finally clicked; a light came on! I am a fully functioning human being! I make the decisions that affect my life, and the same is true for you. If there is something in your life that makes you unhappy, it is up to you to fix that. Don't wait around for life to work itself out. Be proactive about your life! It's YOUR life. THAT is how you find true happiness. And sure, it can be scary as hell sometimes, but that is what living feels like!

The decisions you make every day, even the little ones like "Am I going to eat this banana?", they make up who you are. Everything you do, everything you say...influences what you are. Next time you have a decision to make, ask yourself not, "Is this who I am?", but, "Is this who I want to be?".

It's a conscious decision you make, and if there is something in your life that you are not happy with, it is up to you to change it. Time for the overused quote:

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." -Mahatma Gandhi

Much love,

sandy <3